PAD Challenge Day 30: The Transition

PAD Challenge Day 30: Write a goodbye poem.

The Transition 

The hardest goodbye was
holding my father's warm
hand for the last time. 
After he reached for me,  
he called out the angels 
by name in the room.
He shared his last words
the night before.
Something like,
"They are waiting.
I'm sorry, I can't stay.
I'm sorry you can't go,
but I promise to
come back for you."

The morning after,
everything was silent,
even the bird outside
the window that watched me 
during the final hours.
The only music to my ears 
was the ventilator,
the dropping blood pressure,
and the c-pap machine.
I rather play the Motown music
he requested the night before just
so that he could sing to me and
smile a smile that mirrors mine again.

Or talk about the wedding
that he wanted to pay for and
dance at with me to Run DMC
in classic, fresh Addidas.
He even said,
"Only one of my brothers
or your brother can give you away.
If you have children,
be a better parent than me."

Over all of this,
I rather hear the sneakers
on a basketball court and
his loud sport cheers and chants
blending in with the crowd on the TV.
Nah, I would rather be 
at the game with him.
I would rather hear and see him
breathing on his own
like the days before.
I would rather feed him again,
say Grace and wish that
that every spoon full could
restore and extend the life 
of his failing heart and kidney.
But there is no remedy for everything-
even the liquid morphine
and lorazepam were
temporarily relievers to
what I couldn't heal at all.

Out of all the fights I've
seen my father fight,
this was the most intensive.
A first loss, yet another win.
All before one last cry.
One little tear before
one last breath.
I got my last hug,
tight and long, 
just enough to hear the
death rattle tell me
"The End".


I miss you dad. 😘
DEC 5 1962 - MAY 9 2018


Popular posts from this blog

PAD Challenge Day 27: πŸŽ‚ Cake πŸŽ‚ and Eat It Too

Toodles to 2022: What to Leave or Not to Leave?

PAD Challenge Day 25: The American Dream