A Tribute to My Grandmother

My grandmother is officially at rest by her tree (as requested) and peace. Below is my heartfelt tribute to her, as spoken during her memorial service on 10/10. A perfect 10 she was. She was so gorgeous that I didn't want to bury her.💜😟🥺

A Tribute to My Grandmother

Thank you for gathering with us to celebrate the life of our beloved, Betty. It is an honor to stand before you as one of her grandchildren. I would like to briefly share with you who my grandmother was from my eyes, what I learned from her and what she expects of her living legacy.

My grandmother was a woman that faced many obstacles and challenges during her childhood and adulthood. As I grew older, along her side, I became inspired by the fact that I was learning from and growing up with a woman that was born during the Harlem Renaissance era, grew up during the civil rights movement and voted for her first time during the Obama Election. Because of her, I also began to study the women in our family. I asked many questions and often eavesdropped on conversations she would have with her friends, family members and elders, to understand her more and to understand what type of woman I wanted to become. These conversations were often hard and soft but full of vulnerability and resilience- becoming special moments for her where she found her voice for the times when she didn’t have the chance to as a young girl, woman, mother and wife. And a special moment for me, too, because I learned from her that at least about 75-90% of mishaps can be prevented just by listening and learning from elders and having strong discernment. 

As I began to navigate through life on my own journey of womanhood; because of my Nana, I strived for educational and personal success and to love and live life carefully and fully without any regrets. I valued and appreciated every advice she provided without hesitation. And I thank God for her for sharing her wisdom, knowledge, truth and understanding about life with me. Because of her, I am proudly and successfully the woman I am today. I learned what type of woman I wanted to be and not be; and what type of wife, mother, and friend I wanted to become.

I love my Nana even more for her wittiness and amusing side of life. She introduced me to Victor from The Young and the Restless; Brooke from The Bold and the Beautiful; The Price is Right; court TV, COPs and Law & Order shows—I always believed she would have made a wonderful legal aid, agent or a chef with a restaurant because of her love for cooking and serving people or perhaps a nurse because she knew all the old school remedies to heal you. 

For the love of you, Grandma, thank you for The Isley Brothers, The O’Jays, Al Green, Marvin Gaye, Curtis Mayfield, Earth Wine and Fire, The Supremes, The Jacksons, The Temptations, Barry White, and many more. She always kept her collection of albums and record player in rotation! Her and my mom used to say, “One day you’ll appreciate real, soul music”. And now, in this society of artificial and impersonators, I do and will forever appreciate the real of the realest!

My grandmother was not just a music collector, but a movie guru too! Some of her favorite films became my favorite too, like Imitation of Life, Claudine, Mahogany, Harlem Nights, The Godfather, Scarface, and Boys N the Hood. I’ll never forget how many times she let my cousin Cieon watch Boys N the Hood and The Christmas Story during one of our sleepovers at her house. I always thought, and others did too, that she was the coolest, down-to-earth, grandma that a child could ever have. She even took time to sit down and play the 1st Mario Bros and Duck Hunt Nintendo game with Barron, Cieon and I one Christmas. Speaking of Christmas… the holidays will never be same without her. By her, just being herself and alive, hugging and showing us, unconditional love was the best gift ever. 

And my best gift back to her was to allow her to experience authentic love and cool life experiences before departing this earth. I thank God that I was able to bring nothing but joy to her life. So, Grandma, thank you for not giving up on your children and your children’s children. Thank you for joining me and my friends at the State Fair one year (even though you didn’t get on a ride with us).Thank you for riding shot gun with me to Florida to visit mom because you were too chicken to fly on a plane. Thank you for always supporting my poetry books by talking about them to everybody and even selling a few. Thank you for keeping my dog while I travel for leisure or business. I’m going to miss bringing you back trinkets or a delicious rum cake from the islands and organizing my calendar with your doctor’s visits or visiting Fayetteville to take you shopping or just sitting at your house chatting about life, history, and the ways of the world. 

To her children and grandchildren, her greatest wish is that life would be better for us. She wanted us to have better chances at education and opportunities, healthier relationships, better marriages and a strong family unit, full of unconditional love and support, now, more than ever. Strive to not let the outside world and hard times disrupt or corrupt you. 

On her behalf, I ask that everyone continue to represent her in the best light. When it comes to another person’s life, be sure that you’re adding the best of love to it, especially a child. Try to teach a child something new, keep them from neglect and abuse, lead them with positivity and hope, and love them unconditionally. Finally, I would like to encourage you to always strive to overcome generational trauma by living in and speaking your truth, love on each other without division, envy, and malice; and most importantly, maintain a strong relationship with God. 💐🙏🏽

💜Forever in love,

Your Granddaughter, Danielle