PAD Challenge Day 26: Missed Calls

PAD Challenge Day 26: Write a response.

Missed Calls 

I miss calls from my father.
On Sundays, before and after 
church and during football, 
basketball, and baseball games.
During the week, 
on break or late at night 
to see how my day went.
On the weekend, 
to share our adventures 
and experiences with 
people, places and things. 

I miss missed calls from my father.
He would always leave a voice-mail to say,
"Baby Girl, it's your daddy. 
You know I love you. 
You must be mad at me. 
Call me back anyway."

I would listen and laugh 
because sometimes I was mad, 
mad at him for being so far away 
when I needed a hug 
or his shoulder the most. 
Mad at him for something he said 
that irritated my skin and overturned my nerves.
Mad when he forgot about something important---
I would repeat myself twice or a third time.
Him, knowingly knowing 
that I despised repeating myself 
and procrastination.

On the days I wasn't mad, 
honestly, I was occupied 
and focused on growing 
into the woman I haven't met.
Honestly, I was in a meeting 
trying to save the world. 
Honestly, I was in class 
trying to be PhinisHeD 
with the Doctorate I'd started. 
Honestly, I was in a waiting room--
waiting to be called back to see my oncologist, 
when I rather be waiting on,
preparing for a flight to an island,
Instead of being attached to a medical device 
trying to save myself from death.
Honestly, I was beating the cancer I told 
my mother not to tell him about, 
only because his heart was already 
upside down from his mother 
battling the same cells.

Imagine being the baby he helped create 
and you never disappointed him or your mother; 
and the woman that birthed him 
and loved him the most, 
both in a war,  
that even the most bravest 
and daredevil of man on earth 
couldn't prevent the pain they endured 
or win what was called for them to fight for. 



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